Carolyn's Critters

Mom,
The bed attacked me!
Winston

Dear Winston,
No, that was Charlie, when you crawled under the sheets while I was trying to change them. 
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
I was TRAPPED!!!!
Winston

Dear Winston,
Not really. You just somehow got yourself wrapped in the sheet. And Charlie totally took advantage of the situation and pounced right on you. I’m sorry that made you panic. 
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
It was HORRIFYING!
Winston

Dear Winston,
It was just a sheet, honey. But I understand. You got tangled. And you totally panicked when Charlie landed on top of you. I did feel badly for you! 
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
You laughed.
Winston

Dear Winston,
Ok, I did, but it was sort of an accidental snort.
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
I couldn’t get out!!!!!
Winston

Dear Winston,
But I lifted the sheet and saved you! And see? You’re ok now, right?
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
I was so worried. I ran out of the room. I yelled SCURITY SCURITY!!!!!
Winston

Dear Winston,
So, were you saying Scurry Scurry? Like run really fast? Or Security Security? You do know that we live in a very safe environment here, and we don’t need to call Security, right? 
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
Thank god we have Poppy for that!
Winston

Dear Winston,
I’m not sure Poppy is really what we’d call a Security Dog.
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
You mean we have NOTHING to protect us?
Winston

Dear Winston,
We have neighbors on all sides, all ready to save us if we need it.
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
Does Poppy know that?
Winston

Dear Winston,
We won’t tell her. We’ll let her continue to think she’s in charge of security.
Love, Carolyn

– 

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Dear Elsa,
The vet’s office sent me a text reminding me that it is time for you and Charlie to come in for your annual visit. 
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mum,
What did you tell them?
Love, Elsa

Dear Elsa,
I made an appointment for Charlie, and told them I’d see what I can do about you. We’ve already cancelled two appointments because I couldn’t pick you up to put you in a carrier.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mum,
We’re not going there.
Love, Elsa

Dear Elsa,
Honey, what are we going to do with you? 
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mum,
Not going to happen.
Love, Elsa

Dear Elsa,
We went there last year. 
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mum,
I was a baby KITTEN then. I’m an adult now, and NO ONE is allowed to pick me up.
Love, Elsa

Dear Elsa,
I understand. It’s not a choice, it’s a feral trigger. You won’t even let me pick you up for a loving cuddle! I can’t carry you into the room where I take your pictures. I’m not even allowed to reach out to you with both hands. 
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mum,
Two hands means picking up.
Love, Elsa

Dear Elsa,
I get that. But it’s sad. Because you are such a love bug! You even let me rub your belly. Most cats I’ve lived with considered the belly to be off limits. You are so trusting, there’s not a spot on your body that I’m not allowed to touch. It’s all very frustrating, because you are so hungry for affection.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
I’m not doing this on purpose!
Love, Elsa

Dear Elsa,
I get it. So, I told the vet that you are triggered from your feral babyhood, and that I’d need a tranquilizer dart to be able to pick you up, let alone get you into a carrier. And then she suggested that I leave the carrier out all the time so that you can get used to it. That just made me laugh.  
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
The carrier has been sitting right here for months. 
Love, Elsa

Dear Elsa,
She was trying to be helpful, but I told her the carrier isn’t the problem. The trigger is the problem. She was very sympathetic, but said she can’t prescribe gabapentin without weighing you first. But that if you were to have a health issue, she knows a vet who makes house calls.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
You mean a stranger would come into our house?!!!
Love, Elsa

Dear Elsa,
Good point. That would mean having to somehow extricate you out from under the bed.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
I’m in charge of my life.
Love, Elsa

Dear Elsa, 
Ouf. I respect that attitude, but you sure make things difficult.
Love, Carolyn

– 

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Dear Poppy,
I have a request, sweetie. Can you please leave the cat toys alone?
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
Why do the cats need so many toys?
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
Because if they have plenty of toys to keep them occupied, they don’t knock over the lamps. I call it lamp insurance.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
But I don’t really play with the cat toys.
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
You may not play with them, but now you’re destroying them. First the purple mousie, and now the blue mousie.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
Those were accidents. 
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
Accidents? You shredded them!
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
They smelled irresistible.
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
Can’t it stop there? Can’t you just enjoy the lovely smell? 
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
I do!
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
But then you shred them to bits.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
And this is wrong because…???
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
Honey, the cats want to play with their mousie toys. No one has any use for a pile of shredded fabric and stuffing.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
So why are these things made with a scent that makes me chew them up? 
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
That must be the catnip. I didn’t know dogs were interested in that. 
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
So, just smell them? You mean no touch? Just smell?
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
Yes! Exactly! I’m so glad you understand.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
But I don’t!!!! That makes no sense. You can’t just sniff without acting on the scent.
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
Sure you can. I do that all the time. I like to sniff a Meyer Lemon. Or a lavender flower. Or a crushed sprig of rosemary. But I stop there! No shredding involved.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
You just said you crushed a sprig. And you picked the flower. You destroy things!
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
Ok, you got me there. On a technicality. But still, when I enjoy a smell there’s no shredding involved.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
Because you are not a dog.
XOXO Poppy

– 

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Mom,
It’s time for The Game.
Charlie

Dear Charlie,
I know, sweetie. Give me a minute, I’m in the middle of something.
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
I saw you put your coffee cup in the sink. That means you are ready for The Game.
Charlie

Dear Charlie,
As usual you’re on the mark. Give me a minute.
Love, Carolyn

MOM,
IT’S TIME FOR THE GAME!!!!!!!!!
Charlie

Dear Charlie,
You can stop yelling, we’re going to play. Who knew what a hit this wand toy would be.
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Charlie

Dear Charlie,
I love watching you play with it!
Love, Carolyn 

Mom,
It’s not play.
Charlie

Dear Charlie,
You’re right. It’s something else altogether. You leap so high, you are eye-level with me! Maybe I should call you Air Charlie. And while you are airborne, sometimes you change direction so fast that a leap turns into a flip!  What an athlete you are! 
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
I love it when you yell WOO HOO!!!!
Charlie

Dear Charlie,
I love it when you jump so high that it calls for a Woo Hoo! What an extraordinary performance. Hey, I’ve got an even better name for you – I’m going to start calling you Charlie BaryshniKat.
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
That’s a weird name.
Charlie

Dear Charlie,
No, it’s an honor, to be named after one of the greatest dancers in the world. You have the athleticism, the grace, and the beauty of a great ballet dancer.
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
Does that guy catch the prey like I do?
Charlie

Dear Charlie,
No one catches it like you do. 
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
It’s a very tricky prey.
Charlie

Dear Charlie,
But somehow you catch that thing while you are up in the air! And I love the ritual after you catch it, when we walk around the house with the prey in your mouth, me following you, holding the wand like a leash!
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
That’s part of the game.
Charlie

Dear Charlie
I get it. Kind of like a victory lap. Or maybe it’s an instinct to cache your prey. Puffin did that too, when he played with his wand. When he caught his prey, he walked it to a specific spot where he put it down on the rug. Every time. When you catch it we take a tour of the house, making a big circle to end up back where we started.
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
Ready for the next round.
Charlie

– 

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Please subscribe! It’s free, and with a subscription you’ll get these weekly posts delivered right to your In Box. You’ll find the subscription link at the top of the page (If you are reading this in an email, go to https://carolynscritters.blog/ to subscribe.)  When you do, Poppy, Winston, Charlie and Elsa will all raise their paws to salute you!

Mom,
Did you mean it today when you said you were going to get rid of all your cats?????
Winston

Dear Winston,
Oh dear, I’m sorry honey, I should be careful about what I say. I was just exasperated about the beans.
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
The beans????
Winston

Dear Winston
I picked some green beans in my garden, and left them on the counter because I was planning to have them with dinner tonight. And they all disappeared.
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
Charlie was playing with one of them.
Winston

Dear Winston,
Charlie was playing with all of them. I found one in the water bowl. Full of puncture marks. I haven’t found the others yet.
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
I think they are under the sofa.
Winston

Dear Winston,
Good to know.
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
I’m glad you’re not planning to get rid of us.
Winston

Dear Winston,
I’m so sorry, I forget how literal you all are. I would NEVER get rid of you kids. You are my sweet family!
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
Sometimes I’m not sure. You screamed at me this morning.
Winston

Dear Winston,
I SNEEZED, sweetie. That wasn’t a scream. There was no need to race out of the room with body language that yelled WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!!!
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
Sometimes I just have to be sure.
Winston

Dear Winston,
You are such a worrier. I feel badly for you. How did you become such an anxious cat? 
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
Am I supposed to know the answer to that?
Winston

Dear Winston,
It wasn’t really a question. I’m sure your poor vision has something to do with it. And I think you must have had a tough beginning before you were rescued. You were so tiny when we adopted you that it’s hard to imagine what went on before that.
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
I don’t remember!!!!!
Winston

Dear Winston,
That’s ok. We had an opening for an Anxious Cat and you filled the position perfectly.
Love, Carolyn

– 

A note to our readers…

Please subscribe! It’s free, and with a subscription you’ll get these weekly posts delivered right to your In Box. You’ll find the subscription link at the top of the page (If you are reading this in an email, go to https://carolynscritters.blog/ to subscribe.)  When you do, Poppy, Winston, Charlie and Elsa will all raise their paws to salute you!

Dear Mum,
Who is Mukluk?
Love, Elsa

Dear Elsa,
That’s a term of endearment, sweetie. I call all of you my Mukluks.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mum,
You have a lot of names for us.
Love, Elsa,

Dear Elsa,
I do. I find it entertaining. I hope you don’t mind.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mum,
I don’t mind. It’s just one of the ways humans are weird. Even our mousie toys have names. 
Love, Elsa

Dear Elsa,
I guess this new one must be Blue Mousie.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mum,
I hope Poppy doesn’t get hold of it.
Love, Elsa

Dear Elsa,
She is trouble, isn’t she! Too bad about Purple Mousie. She really tucked into that thing and shredded it to bits in no time. This one is from the same package. Apparently they have catnip in them, so I wonder if that’s what attracted her to it. 
Love, Carolyn 

Dear Mum,
She shouldn’t be playing with my toys.
Love, Elsa

Dear Elsa,
You’re right of course. But who can resist such exciting prey.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mum,
The only thing better is live prey! 
Love, Elsa

Dear Elsa,
Like bugs! You and Charlie are really on top of the bug situation. 
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mum,
Yup. Bugs are one of the best kinds of prey. 
Love, Elsa

Dear Elsa,
Hopefully we don’t have other live prey in our house. 
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mum,
There’s the creature on the ceiling.
Love, Elsa

Dear Elsa,
The WHAT?
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mum,
The creature with the green eye on the bedroom ceiling.
Love, Elsa

Dear Elsa,
The smoke alarm. Glad someone is keeping an eye on it. 
Love, Carolyn

– 

A note to our readers…

Please subscribe! It’s free, and with a subscription you’ll get these weekly posts delivered right to your In Box. You’ll find the subscription link at the top of the page (If you are reading this in an email, go to https://carolynscritters.blog/ to subscribe.)  When you do, Poppy, Winston, Charlie and Elsa will all raise their paws to salute you!

Mom,
You were yelling at the TV again.
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
I’m sorry. That probably makes you wonder what’s going on. 
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
Yes!!! What was it all about?
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
I was just reacting to the news.
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
You said some bad words too. 
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
Well, it doesn’t have anything to do with you, so you don’t need to worry about it.
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
We all want you to be happy.
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
You are so sweet!
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
Because if you are happy, everyone is happy.
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
I have to say that’s perceptive of you.
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
Sometimes at night you get annoyed with Charlie and Winston. 
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
You mean like last night when the two of them wouldn’t stop wrestling.
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
It was a real commotion. Elsa and I don’t ever do that!
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
It didn’t help that they were crashing around right on top of me. 
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
And on me!!!!!! They fell off the bed, smack onto me while I was sound asleep on the rug!!!!! 
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
You poor girl, that was a rough way to wake up. You sprang to your feet screaming.
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
So I was glad when you yelled “That’s it!!! Out you go!!!” And evicted those boys.
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
They didn’t care one bit. They just continued their crazy wrestling and zoomies together in the rest of the house.
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
And our room was quiet and happy and snuggly with Team Girls!
XOXO Poppy

– 

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Dear Charlie,
What on earth is going on with your Miss Mousie toy in the water bowl?
Love, Carolyn

Hey Mom,
Going on?
Charlie

Dear Charlie,
A couple of days ago you walked from one end of the house to the other with a very determined look, carrying Miss Mousie by the tail. You were clearly a Cat with a Plan. You marched right past me and into the kitchen, straight to the water bowl, and dropped her in.
Love, Carolyn

Hey Mom,
Yes. And?
Charlie

Dear Charlie,
You did that with such deliberation! The other day when I found her in the bathroom water bowl I just assumed she just got there by accident when you were playing with her. But this was clearly planned!
Love, Carolyn

Hey Mom,
Of course it was planned.
Charlie

Dear Charlie,
But why?
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
Does there need to be a reason?
Charlie

Dear Charlie,
I guess not. It just seems like an unusual behavior. It find that fascinating.
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
It is?
Charlie

Dear Charlie,
Yes! And then yesterday I found Miss Mousie floating in the water bowl yet again. I picked her up, wrung her out, and set her up on the towel rack to dry. You came strolling in, right up to the water bowl, and stopped in your tracks. You looked around the bowl, you looked everywhere. 
Love, Carolyn

Hey Mom,
Of course! I was looking for Miss Mousie.
Charlie

Dear Charlie,
And that’s what’s so interesting! You clearly left her in the bowl and expected to find her there later.
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
I don’t know why you are having so much trouble with this. Maybe you haven’t been getting enough sleep.
Charlie

– 

A note to our readers…

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Mom,
You called me a jerk!
Winston

Dear Winston,
It was said with love. Sometimes you’re a jerk, but hey, you’re MY jerk!
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
????? So why did you call me that?
Winston

Dear Winston,
You wouldn’t leave Elsa alone.
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
I think she likes my game.
Winston

Dear Winston,
Dude, she doesn’t. None of us likes it. 
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
Sometimes I’m a nice guy!
Winston

Dear Winston,
You are. You’re such a sweetie when you ask me to pick you up and carry you on my shoulder! And when you look up at me and close your eyes, that’s pure love.
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
The shoulder thing is just for a minute, though.
Winston

Dear Winston,
I understand. You’ve got a short attention span. 
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
You called me a jerk yesterday too, and I wasn’t even chasing Elsa.
Winston

Dear Winston,
You wouldn’t stop scratching the sofa. 
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
Scratching it feels SO GOOD!!!!!
Winston

Dear Winston,
I asked you three times to knock it off.
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
But why???!!!!! When I feel that velvet under my feet I HAVE to scratch it.
Winston

Dear Winston,
We have lots of scratching options for you. There’s the pad in the bedroom, and another in the living room. And the kitchen cat tree has a terrific pole for scratching. Honey, you don’t need to destroy furniture.
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
I haven’t destroyed it.
Winston

Dear Winston,
Not yet.
Love, Carolyn 

– 

A note to our readers…

Please subscribe! It’s free, and with a subscription you’ll get these weekly posts delivered right to your In Box. You’ll find the subscription link at the top of the page (If you are reading this in an email, go to https://carolynscritters.blog/ to subscribe.)  When you do, Poppy, Winston, Charlie and Elsa will all raise their paws to salute you!

Dear Elsa,
You’re my Techno Cat. I notice you are the first to check out my phone or laptop when I leave it out.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mum,
I love the laptop. And we all like the phone! It makes noises!!!
Love, Elsa

Dear Elsa,
True, I’ve noticed everyone sits up when it pings.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mum,
We all want to know WHAT is it SAYING?????
Love, Elsa

Dear Elsa,
I’ll bet you do! The ping means there’s a text message. That’s a short message, sort of the equivalent of a passing scritchy-scratch behind the ears.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mum,
We all like those! 
Love, Elsa

Dear Elsa,
Everyone likes a head scratch. 
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mum,
Sometimes Winston bats at your hand when you give him a scratch.
Love, Elsa

Dear Elsa,
He’s funny that way. He prefers a head bump with my fist.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mum,
He doesn’t pay attention to the laptop. He just sits on the keyboard. But Charlie plays with the screen! He thinks the cursor is a bug!!!!!
Love, Elsa

Dear Elsa,
You are very observant.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mum,
I spy on everyone.
Love, Elsa

Dear Elsa,
You listen in, too, with those big ears of yours.
Love, Carolyn 

Dear Mum,
I like to know what’s going on.
Love, Elsa

Dear Elsa,
You have the goods on all of us. You probably have it all on a spreadsheet somewhere. 
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mum,
Possibly.
Love, Elsa

Dear Elsa,
You look really innocent but you’re a rascal at heart.
Love, Carolyn

Mum,
You are calling me a rascal???
Love, Elsa

Dear Elsa,
It’s a compliment.
Love, Carolyn

– 

A note to our readers…

Please subscribe! It’s free, and with a subscription you’ll get these weekly posts delivered right to your In Box. You’ll find the subscription link at the top of the page (If you are reading this in an email, go to https://carolynscritters.blog/ to subscribe.)  When you do, Poppy, Winston, Charlie and Elsa will all raise their paws to salute you!