The Jerk
by carolynholm
Mom,
You called me a jerk!
Winston
Dear Winston,
It was said with love. Sometimes you’re a jerk, but hey, you’re MY jerk!
Love, Carolyn
Mom,
????? So why did you call me that?
Winston
Dear Winston,
You wouldn’t leave Elsa alone.
Love, Carolyn
Mom,
I think she likes my game.
Winston
Dear Winston,
Dude, she doesn’t. None of us likes it.
Love, Carolyn
Mom,
Sometimes I’m a nice guy!
Winston
Dear Winston,
You are. You’re such a sweetie when you ask me to pick you up and carry you on my shoulder! And when you look up at me and close your eyes, that’s pure love.
Love, Carolyn
Mom,
The shoulder thing is just for a minute, though.
Winston
Dear Winston,
I understand. You’ve got a short attention span.
Love, Carolyn
Mom,
You called me a jerk yesterday too, and I wasn’t even chasing Elsa.
Winston
Dear Winston,
You wouldn’t stop scratching the sofa.
Love, Carolyn
Mom,
Scratching it feels SO GOOD!!!!!
Winston
Dear Winston,
I asked you three times to knock it off.
Love, Carolyn
Mom,
But why???!!!!! When I feel that velvet under my feet I HAVE to scratch it.
Winston
Dear Winston,
We have lots of scratching options for you. There’s the pad in the bedroom, and another in the living room. And the kitchen cat tree has a terrific pole for scratching. Honey, you don’t need to destroy furniture.
Love, Carolyn
Mom,
I haven’t destroyed it.
Winston
Dear Winston,
Not yet.
Love, Carolyn
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Wow those claws need clipping! And a velvet couch! I am reminded of a production of Tartuffe at ACT in SF starring Rene Auberjonois where in one scene when he is chasing Mariane in the living room and center stage is the enormous velvet couch and at one point during his rage at not being able to catch her give her a kiss, he stops behind the couch and claws with both hands the front of the couch and leaves a huge trace of his clawing for all the audience to see. It was hilarious and a brilliant gesture of his sexual frustration. The play was directed by Bill Ball.